So, I want to tell a little story about a dog.

One day I was running the trails in the forest by my house…32 degrees and sunny, a little crunchy snow on the ground, exploring new trails further than I usually go on my own. It was so fresh feeling and I was talking with God as I ran. Well, this particular day….my kids had been asking for a dog. I take that before God and kind of just see what he says. I don’t hear much until a ways down the road there is this young lab hauling down the road with his owner driving next to him in a truck. I wonder if the dog is running away or what. Then I get closer, pet the dog, and realize…the guy is just giving the dog a good run. They are out having fun. And God whispers…”You could use a little shadow.” I sort of smile and wonder if that’s an affirmative.

Months go by. I still want a dog. My kids still ask every day. I’m sort of haunted by the other dog we had years before when I had three kids 4 and under. I loved her but she was not obedient and I didn't train her well. I felt like I had failed her and us. It seemed like this could be a great idea for our family or I could end up with one more responsibility and blow it. So I ask the kids to start praying that God would bring us the right dog. I am praying that too but honestly, I am feeling a little unbelief. I’m not sure he will. Under that is the question “Does he love us that much and in the details such as a dog?”

We start visiting the humane society on a regular basis…my 5 year old daughter cries every time we leave. So much puppy love in that little heart that she just breaks every time we leave alone. My boys start fighting about which dog we should get. It all starts to feel a little over whelming. Is this really worth it? I keep my eye out for a dog named “Shadow.” Just in case. I don’t really know if that is what God meant but I figure it can’t hurt. I look for an older dog that is already trained. None of them seem right.

No dog named “Shadow” shows up. My husband isn’t super excited about this dog idea. Then one night we get to talking about our dogs we had as children. Both of us went through loss with dogs and both of us are a little afraid to love a dog. To me, fear always signals something is not right. My hackles go up and I figure Satan is afoot.

So I pray. And I pray. And I look. And sort of lose heart eventually. Until one day when my husband is at a weekend retreat in Colorado, I see this dog. Totally NOT the dog I wanted. A border collie. I do not want a hyper Border Collie. I have three hyper children. In fact, I specifically remember telling my husband that I don’t want any Border Collie even mixed into the mutt we might get someday. But the eyes on this dog…they are so kind. His face is expressive. The lady at the shelter says that this dog is special. He came in as a stray. He sits, stays, comes, and plays dead. Seriously…you can point your finger like a gun and he drops dead. He sounds like a dream that couldn’t possibley come true. So, I still don’t think a border collie is a good idea. So I don’t say anything at first. And then one day I’m praying and God reminds me to follow my heart. And I realize that I like the looks of this dog. Something about his face makes me smile. I am still skeptical but I call the lady at the shelter and see if we can come see him. The kids and I go out to see him. He is a love of a dog. The rest of the dogs at the shelter are going NUTS and he doesn’t even bark. He lets my three year old walk him with out pulling on the leash. I am sold. But my husband is still in Colorado and even though the spicey side of me would like to just get this dog, the other side that loves my husband’s heart. We ask if we can put the dog on hold until Michael get's home the next evening.

Michael comes home and we all tell him about the dog. He is not excited. He is in fact a little annoyed at me for getting the kid's hopes up. But the next day, he awakens feeling refreshed and like we should at least look at the dog. We go look. The first thing he says is “That is not the dog I pictured us getting.” I just let him walk Levi around and he eventually sees what I saw in him. He is a good dog. I kind of stand back and watch Michael try this decision on. I see all the “what if’s” cross his mind. I see the inconveniences and the extra money. And then, I watch him choose life. Choose to love a dog. To let his children grow up with a dog to love. To somehow participate in fathering my heart by choosing all of this. He looks over and say “Why not. Let’s take a dog home.”

The continuing story is this: Levi is all we hoped for and more. He is smart, funny, and he lets the kids love all over him. He follows me around the house....like a shadow. The first night we had him, we went on a 6 mile run in the snow. I explored way further than normal and just felt at home with God. I was a bit giddy in his love for me. Levi is perfect for our family. Maybe this seems silly to you. Maybe this would not be that big of a deal to everyone. But to me? God loved us through the gift of Levi. Michael fathered us all by choosing life and choosing Levi.

It’s just a dog. Or is it? If you mix up the letters in Levi…they spell Live. That’s where we are. Living in the shadow of God’s love.